.JPG)
I don't call... I don't write... How rude of me, eh?
Whoo! The 8 O'Clock Cat has entered the building. I wanted to talk about something I'd like to call "The 'Cool' Curse".
So, what is The "Cool" Curse?
Now, I don't know the statistics on who does it more (K. Michel does that sort of thing) but it's when you see somebody of interest across the room. After that, instead of smiling, or approaching them, you pretend they're not there. You act "cool".
Some people do this for different reasons. You might act "cool" to further attract this person to you. Or, you might want to shut that person down early, in fear of being rejected by them. In most outcomes, this will repel those of interest away from you.
For one reason or another, the scenes at social events are now seeing this curse more and more. People aren't talking to one another like they used to. You've probably seen it. The problem is... people are intentionally going to these places, only to be stuck with the "cool" curse. They think that looking good is more than enough to get someone to go over to them and talk.
If I've said it once, I've said it too many times. Times have changed. Man, woman... you might have to proactively go after what you want equally. There's a much greater chance of having an interesting night doing this than simply acting "cool".
But, who acts "cool" more ...men or women? Have you ever been any place where people act too "cool" to socialize? Too "cool" to mingle?
Is it actually alright for women to act "cool", as men are usually the ones to approach anyway?
The 8 O'Clock Cat Invites You To Become A Fan On FACEBOOK
This is The 8 O'Clock Cat saying, this message has been brought to you, in part, by the letter "R" ...and the good folks at K. Michel Press.
10 OF YOUR THOUGHTS PRESSED:
For me its not about acting cool, I'm just simply shy. If I am interested, in a party setting, I would dance near the person in the hopes of them getting the message lol. I hate making the first move!
Hey Retromus-ik.
Being shy and acting "cool" are VERY similar. The difference is that people who act "cool" generally aren't shy.
They are aware of their (in)actions.
Haha, who DOESN'T hate making the first move?? It's terrifying when you think about it... [@ Retromus-ik]
Sorry i'm so late. Where did you go!? Where have you been? Don't call, dont write...no nothing! SMH!!!
Anywho...I totally do the "cool" thing. I think more women do it honestly. We use it as a defense mechanism....to keep the commoners away! LMAO! I honestly dont know why I do it...but I do. *shrugs*
If you see me across the room, chances are my arms are folded, or i'm messing with the blackberry. BUUUUTTT if you actually speak to me...and get past the TOUGH exterior...and i'm a little impressed..then im not so bad!
I agree with Retromus-ik...I hate being the agressor. =/
-Kelly of *AF*
Truth be told, I was did not act cool when I saw my future husband across a crowded room.
When he walked by later, I reached out my hand and said, "leaving so soon?"
The same thing happened with my lover, after discovering my hubby was cheating, I went out to a club, and picked up on this hip hip star--he was busy acting cool at the bar. I tell it differently on my site, but this is the truth.
Both times just got me in so much trouble. Act cool ladies, maybe then you can avoid this problem.
You do give me something to think about, Sir. I will say that I am shy to a point that I might wait to be approached. However, I find it very exciting to play the "eye contact" game. I like the effects of it and you can really tell a lot about a person with simple eye contact, so imaging the possibilities across the room. It can sometimes become very intense.
So, while I am shy, there's another side that emerges when I spot something pleasing to the eyes.
Ttyl,
Traci
Warm welcomes to Kelly (of *Almost Famous*), downlow, & Traci Lavette.
Yeah, that's a good point there. See, it's more of a "defense mechanism"... protection.
I hope you appreciate how tough guys have it, being the "aggressors" and what not. Hmm... [@ Kelly of (*Almost Famous*)]
You reached out and said "leaving so soon"? I think that alone... will get the attention of just about any man in the room.
You don't see a lot of women doing that. Whether it's a future husband, or lover ...or, you know, both. Haha. [@ downlow]
Traci, mmm mmm mmm. Welcome to the family.
Yes, eye contact is a very good way of determining where you stand with a particular person. It's kind of fun too... in a sick kind of way, I guess.
But, it can be uncomfortable ...because it's intimate. I think once more people get the hang of it, it can be very helpful in breaking the ice. [@ Traci Lavette]
Hi K. LOVE YOUR SITE!
Miss you when you aren't posting, and I really appreciate your comments to my site.
You make me feel like I can accomplish my goals--blogging and writing a spectacular book.
I'm almost done! Just want to say thank you, because my initial plan was to simply blog my story, but you came along and made an incredible comment about what you thought of my blog, and made me think of where I could go with it.
I decided, first the book, then I'll make the blog more interactive with my followers...perhaps you'll take part more then, as we connect to expand our horizons.
You are a mentor for many in this black blogging community, and probably beyond.
Katlynne LaSalle
aka ms downlow
mydownlowlife.blogspot.com
You have a sweet blog, Im following now. I will def be back to see updates
Please check out and follow my blog http://aramaticambiance.blogspot.com
You wont be disappointed...its worth the time.
Thanks in advance
http://aramaticambiance.blogspot.com
Ooooh the "Cool Curse", huh? Nice. I don't know that I have that, but I definitely will wait for a man to approach me. I don't know that it's so much the rejection aspect of things as it is me wanting to know that it was him that wanted me from the beginning. I like to know that his "feelings" toward me were not guided and that I caught his eye without me taking it there first. Does that sound clear enough? For some reason it sounds like I'm rambling LOL!
I like your blog. Love what you have to say. Love to see a black man articulate the way you do. Keep up the good work!
Peace,
Priscilla Noelle
Lovely afternoons to downlow, An Aramatic Ambiance, and Priscilla "Prissy" Noelle.
You already know what it is, Kat. I think your stuff speaks for itself ...all I want is for you to succeed.
--And an autographed copy of your first book wouldn't hurt either. [@ downlow]
Thanks for following. Welcome to the family... [@ An Aramatic Ambiance]
What you said was quite sharp, and yes... very clear.
You know, it's a game. There are things that a woman is expected to do, while there are things expected from a man ...all before the two even say one word to one another.
It is what it is.
--And I love the way ...you love what I have to say. It makes me want to be articulate even more. Haha.
What a great compliment, thank you. [@ Priscilla "Prissy" Noelle]
Post a Comment